A Little Overdue

It's been quite a while since my last post, and for good reason. I have been trying to keep my posts positive, but the frustration level has prevented that, and lately it seems to be approaching an all time high.

We've recently decided that the school that William is attending is doing such a poor job of working with him that we need to pull him out. Nickie has been by the school, and caught them red-handed (multiple times) leaving William alone in the classroom, just playing with a pencil sharpener while the rest of the class is working on some other task. He is supposed to have a full time para-professional, but she is overwhelmed by her case-load, and can't be with him most of the time. So, William's teacher adopted a strategy where as long as he is not disrupting the class, she pretty much ignores him. If he gets out of line, they haul him off to the special needs room, where he hangs out and plays. So, my tax dollars are essentially going to a very expensive baby-sitting program. I understand that everyone is severely restricted in their capacity, but we keep getting told, "well, this is an extraordinary week." Problem is, it seems like every week is an extraordinary week.

We looked at transferring within the district. The only problem is that with all the budget cuts (with more to come) all the schools in Douglas County are deficient in the Special Needs area and we wouldn't be better off transferring to another school in the district.
We looked at private schools. I would need to get a second job, and so would Nickie. Not gonna happen.

Nickie set off on the task of finding public schools in the Denver Metro that have what we need. Smaller teacher-student ratio, appropriate programs for William with the right amount of supervision, and a good fit for all the other kids.

After lots of interviews at schools, we've settled on Willow Creek, in Centennial. About 2 miles north of where we live now. Small wrinkle - we have to live in the school's home area in order to get services for William. So, the house went on the market.

Now I am sitting in an immaculately clean house and hating every minute of it. The kids, of course, have no appreciation or understanding for keeping the house clean. I feel like the guy with the shovel behind the horses in the parade. Money is flying out the door with all the "touch-ups" we're doing to get the house show-worthy, and the weather just can't seem to cooperate. 3 blizzards since we started the process of trying to go on the market. And then there's that pesky housing market. I think I have a better chance of growing another appendage than getting this place sold for what I need.

On top of all that, William just turned 6, so his Medicaid funding has been taken away. Don't even get me started on that....but I will. The government has a pool of money for kids with Autism, but it's ridiculously small, so they put you on a wait list, and you are only eligible until you're 6 years old. (I won't call this rationing, because that would be spreading fear and hate.)
I can put his treatment on my taxes, but that simply means I get about 20 cents on the dollar back, and only after I submit it with my taxes. We've spent about $75,000 in the last couple of years, and I have gotten about $15K back in tax refunds.

Maybe it's the cloudy weather, maybe it's the damn dogs barking in the neighbor's backyard, maybe it's the fact that we've accidentally been drinking decaf for the last week, but I needed to vent. I get so tired of being angry about all this, I really don't want to move, but what else can we do? I catch myself getting angry at the kids, angry at work, angry at the government, but whose fault is all of this? No one's, really. I thank God for Nickie, she has taken an incredible burden on with all of this, coordinating all the house stuff, the school stuff, the kid's stuff. She's the only one I am not angry with, I guess. (But she better be careful, cause it's not really an exclusive club. Haha, just kidding, dear)

Anyway, I hope and pray that my next post is a good one. I hope I can say we sold this house. I hope I can say we found the perfect house to move into. I hope I can say that William and all the kids are doing better. I hope I can say I am not so disgusted with myself for having such a bad attitude. I hope Nebraska wins the Big 12. One can dream, right?